Week 10 BOC: Lawyer Jokes

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One; the lawyer holds it while the rest of the world revolves around him.

IDEAL WEIGHT
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.

I.Q.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
A: Your honor.

TAKING IT WITH YOU
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan—when he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to Heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife was up in the attic cleaning and found the two pillowcases stuffed with cash. "Oh, that old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."

DEMON
Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from Hell?
A: Another lawyer.

LAWYER ON A BICYCLE
Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him?
A: It might be your bicycle.

LIFE SAVING: TAKE TWO
Q: How do you save a lawyer from drowning?
A: Take your foot off his head.